Genres:
Mystery/Zombies
Blurb:
Being
a zombie counselor was not Rose Lee’s dream job. However, there
was a growing need for people who were willing to work with clients
that smelled bad, were falling apart, and had a propensity for bad
behavior. She decided to put her college degree to work, and try to
help out her fellow man, or rather fellow zombies.
When
Rose meets a soon-to-be zombie waitress at the Crispy Biscuit, things
go from bad to worse. She has run-ins with zombie landlords, zombie
hunters, undercover zombies and mercenaries, just to name a few.
Rose
tackles all of her problems straight on, whether she is taking out a
thug in the supermarket parking lot or saving a cop’s life at the
playground. She battles the dark underbelly of post-apocalypse
Hornellsville, and proves that she is more than just a pretty girl
named after a famous stripper.
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My Review:
★★★★☆
I enjoyed the character of Rose Lee. She is a nice, down to earth girl that is a zombie social worker. Like anybody, she just wants to do her job. People tend to look at her differently once she reveals what she does for a living, which I am sure would make it a little lonely for her. I really enjoy how she talks. It makes her sound so innocent.
This book was not quite what I was expecting. The zombies are not like what you are used to reading about. For one thing, pepper is fatal to them! They don't crave brains and tend to eat pureed food. They are not the scary monsters that most books portray them to be.
The book itself was an interesting read. It kept my attention through to the end. It wasn't always the most exciting story, but it never lost my interest.
I recommend this book to anyone that likes to read books that are a little different than what you usually find. Anyone that likes an alternative side of zombies. The characters are likable and I really felt for Leah and Jesse. This book is an easy read and doesn't make you have to figure out what is going on.
Excerpt:
“Welcome
to the Crispy Biscuit,” a nasal female voice said over the
intercom. “Can I interest you in a Deluxe Chicken and Cheese
breakfast biscuit?”
“No,
thanks. Give me a brown sugar biscuit with marmalade and a large
Lava Java with two creams and two sugars please,” I said.
“Does
that complete your order?” the voice asked.
“Yep,
that’ll do it,” I said.
“Please
pull ahead to the first window,” she said.
I
did as instructed and rounded the corner with my 1990 Cadillac
Brougham. It was a gift from my father. I’m not sure if it was
really a gift, or rather his way of getting rid of the biggest,
gas-guzzling vehicle he’d ever owned. I had named the car Beulah.
I
maneuvered up to the window, being careful not to hit the concrete
pylon next to the service window. Not because it would hurt my car,
but rather because the car would probably take a chunk out of the
pylon.
Eight
feet of car hood later, the driver’s side window finally lined up
with the service window. “Five-o-five please,” the cashier said.
I handed her the money and was a little shocked when she almost
dumped my order into my lap through the window. “Sorry”, she
said, her cheeks turning a deep shade of scarlet.
“That’s
okay, it is that kind of day,” I said, trying to reassure her with
a smile. It never hurt to be nice to the workers at the Crispy
Biscuit. Every once in a while they gave me an extra biscuit, and
who was I to complain?
I
noticed her hands as she went back to work. I could have sworn there
were the familiar quarter-sized brown patches on the tops of her
hands. I must have looked a little too long because the girl
suddenly pulled the window shut, shot me the stink eye, and turned
her back to me.
It
didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what those patches were –
zombie disease. If that were true, all it would take to do the poor
creature in was a whiff of pepper and BAM! A very sticky, and
somewhat messy, end.
I
was torn between pulling into a parking space and running in to alert
her manager or continuing on my drive to the jail. I didn’t relish
the thought of doing either; in one case the poor girl may be sent
away to live out her life in a zombie asylum, and in the other, I had
to figure out whether my client was worth the time and effort of
sitting through a court hearing.
Life
used to be so much easier before the ZA.
A
sense of duty won out, since I’m required by law to report this
kind of thing. I pulled Beulah into a tight parking space and
disembarked. Luckily I had worn one of my sensible suits to work
today and didn’t have to navigate the pot-hole filled parking lot
in high heels.
I
entered the restaurant and stood in line, waiting for my chance to
speak with the manager. The hostess greeted me after a few moments.
“Just
one today?” she asked.
“No,
I’m not staying,” I said. “I just have a quick question for the
manager. Is he or she in?”
“Let
me check, hon. I’ll be right back,” she said.
I
watched her walk away from me, her plump body crammed into a short
yellow dress. A starched white apron hemmed with lace helped to
cover some of the bulges in front, but from behind it didn’t help
her at all. I gave a sigh and felt instantly sorry for her. She
probably didn’t make much money, and the management was probably a
little too cheap to buy uniforms that fit everyone, especially the
more curvy girls.
She
returned a few minutes later with a rather unhappy-looking man with a
bad comb over. I could feel my stomach clench looking at him. I
didn’t like dealing with surly people, especially this early in the
morning.
“What
can I do for you mam?” he asked in a weak, raspy voice, probably a
result from chain smoking. I had a hard time looking away from him.
His skin had an odd, oily appearance and he had purple circles under
his eyes. His lips had a bluish cast to them; a candidate for a
heart attack if I ever did see one.
“Um,”
I stammered. “I think one of your waitresses may be sick.”
He
narrowed his eyes and stared at me. “Who is sick?” he asked, a
little more loudly than was necessary.
“I
think the girl who waited on me at the drive thru is a little under
the weather, if you know what I mean,” I said. I would have given
the proverbial wink-wink to him, but I was afraid that he would
misunderstand the signal.
“No,
I don’t know what you mean,” he said curtly. “Explain,” he
said, even more loudly than before.
I
was beginning to feel uncomfortable and regretting my decision to
come into the restaurant. There was no turning back now, however, so
I plowed ahead.
“I
noticed that your waitress has brown spots on the tops of her hands.
I don’t need to tell you what that is a sign of, do I? The last
thing you need is a horrific accident in your restaurant, right? You
know what happens when a zombie gets around pepper.”
The
situation was beginning to sink in with the manager, and he looked at
the floor. He nodded and then said, “I’ll look into it.” He
abruptly turned on his heel and walked away from me. I turned and
was about to leave the store when I saw my car pulling out of the
parking space without me.
I
ran towards the front door of the store, and just then the waitress
from the drive thru turned and gave a little wave from the driver’s
side of my car. “Holy cheese and crackers!” I yelled. “She
stole my car!”
Other
patrons who were enjoying their breakfast biscuits stopped eating and
looked up at me. “She stole my car!” I yelled again, pointing at
the door.
I
turned and looked at the restaurant patrons around me, half wondering
if anyone was going to help me. Most of them just went back to
eating, though a few looked at me expectantly for a moment or two
before they also returned to their breakfasts.
If
nothing else, people in Hornellsville were a calm lot.
Buy Links:
Author
Bio:
Murder
in Middleton, the story of a psychic teenager trying to solve a
century’s old murder mystery, was her first book. I Dream of
Zombies, the story of Rose Lee, a zombie social worker, will be
released on Halloween this year.
A
holiday novella, A Very Merry Middleton Christmas, is scheduled for
release during the holiday season this year. Curiosity Killed the
Cat, a murder mystery, is scheduled for release in 2014.
Author
Links:
Website
– http://www.charlottegerber.com
Twitter
– https://twitter.com/gerberink
Giveaway
Info:
One
lucky winner will win a $25 Amazon or Barnes and Noble (Winner's
Choice) gift card! Enter through Rafflecopter. The giveaway starts
11/14/13 and ends 12/13/13 at 12 AM, Eastern Time.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Zombies cant talk back :)
ReplyDeleteMost of them are slow! It's the one monster I can probably survive an attack from. Haha!
ReplyDeleteThey are never undecided about what they want for dinner.
ReplyDelete